Breathing is Good: Tiferet in Gevurah
Tonight begins the 10th Day of the Omer (Arpil 29-30, 2008).
May that part of me that is broken in Tiferet in Gevurah be healed on this day.
Paperwork, scheduling, tax returns, scheduling, housecleaning, scheduling, the high cost of living, our high standards, scheduling, our high ambitions, the high stack of papers on the floor of my study—why... I think that is enough to make one downright grumpy! —which I do feel, often.
So many times, in attempted moments of breathing deeply (which doesn't come so naturally to either Sarah or myself), we sit together and enumerate our blessings:
- two amazing, smart, creative, social, forgiving, funny, kids, who even like each other (within reason), phuey, phuey, phuey, bli ayim ha'ra. [The "phuey's" are a spitting sound, and "bli ayin ha'ra" means "may the evil eye be removed." In Jewish superstition, saying something good, especially about your kids, is a cosmic invitation for the evil forces to unleash themselves on your blessing. The faux spitting and the mantra to remove the evil eye can nullify this invitation, should they be done in close proximity to the recounting of the blessings and with the appropriate tone and intensity.]
- a wonderful community with many friends who care about us.
- wonderful family with whom we are in close touch.
- the means to support ourselves and live a comfortable life AND give some to tzedaka
- our dog Boaz who is love, love, love!
- interesting work that we care about
- each other
And yet... it can be hard to take in, hard to steer clear of the grumpiness. This is what tiferet in gevurah is about for me this year. Tiferet is about the perspective, the breathing, the knowing, the feeling of being loved—that is reassurance at the same time it is a taking in of that which is so good. Tiferet helps to remove the evil that can be gevurah when its unbalanced. Our ambition and all those things listed above are not bad. Much wonder comes out of them. It's all about balance and perspective.
On this night of tiferet in gevurah, may I find re-commit myself to breathing and stopping.